040415lilysami
12:14 GT: Lily knocks on Sami's door if it's not open. 12:14 AA: Sami sighs and comes to the door. 12:14 AA: When she sees who it is, she looks surprised. "Oh. It's you." 12:14 AA: "If this is part of your rebellion, you're too late. I've retired." 12:15 GT: "I knew about Thiago." 12:15 AA: "Knew what about Thiago?" 12:16 GT: "That Libby had brought him back." 12:16 AA: "Oh. I didn't." 12:16 GT: "No shit." 12:16 AA: "I guess it's not a big surprise though. She's the one who thought he was dangerous, so it makes sense she would want to interrogate him before letting us bring him back." 12:16 AA: "I had no idea that shenanicite could be used that way though." 12:16 GT: "But the thing is, she wasn't interrogating him." 12:17 AA: "What do you mean?" 12:17 GT: "She brought him back for me." 12:18 GT: "I talked to him. He was happy. They were working together." 12:18 AA: "Oh." Sami opens the door and sighs. "You wanna come in? I don't really have any furniture set up or anything, but it's better than sitting in the hall." 12:19 AA: "I'm guessing this is the thing you decided not to tell me that Libby 'didn't think I was ready for?'" 12:20 GT: "Yeah. I figured she didn't tell you for a reason. And that reason was probably the reason she brought him back in the first place." 12:20 AA: "And do you have any idea what reason that was? What they were working on together?" 12:21 GT: "Just ways to bring him back, from what Thiago told me, and ways to deal with all the bullshit your merry crew's been stirring up." 12:22 GT: "And you should know the fucking reason by now." She walks inside, brushing past Sami. "Because he didn't deserve to die." 12:23 AA: "That's not really something I expect Libby to care about." 12:24 GT: "Yeah, well, I didn't expect her to care enough about me to bring him back either, but." She shrugs. "She did." 12:25 AA: "Yeah, she did." Sami scratches her chin. "And she cares about you plenty. I just think she cares more about your survival and your long-term happiness than she does about something like this. So I'm surprised she considers Thiago a priority." 12:26 AA: "And you should know, while I wouldn't trust Scarlet further than I could throw her, ignoring her is a bad idea too. She doesn't say things lightly." 12:27 AA: "And if anyone knew things that even Libby thought no one could find out, it would be Scarlet." 12:28 GT: "If Thiago was getting interrogated, he would've told me. I could talk to him freely the whole time leading up to Meouet's shit, too." 12:28 AA: "Are you sure it was the real Thiago you were talking to?" 12:29 GT: "The fuck's that supposed to mean?" 12:30 AA: "I mean Libby can create echoes that obey her will, and are all but indistinguishable from the real thing." 12:30 AA: "What if she wanted to put your mind at ease and made a Thiago echo to reassure you?" 12:30 GT: "OK, but, counterpoint: why the fuck would she show me she had a THiago if she was secretly interrogating the actual one? That's, like, really fucking stupid." 12:31 AA: "Depends what she's actually up to. Or what she *was* actually up to." 12:31 AA: "I guess it doesn't matter now. If Thiago's really alive inside the dreambubble, he's stuck on the ark now." 12:31 AA: "Although....that raises an interesting question." 12:32 AA: "If Libby could make echoes of the dreambubble to let ghosts leave them, why didn't she just bring Thiago with her when she evacuated?" 12:33 GT: "I dunno. Maybe she did, but secretly? Maybe she couldn't get to him in time?" 12:33 AA: "It's curious, is all I'm saying." 12:34 AA: "But I guess it's not really my business anymore." She sighs, and drops back onto her bed. "Why did you decide to tell me all this, Lily?" 12:35 GT: "'Cause..." She shrugs. "Cause I didn't wanna end up like you, I guess." 12:35 GT: "Both of us had big ol' secrets under our belts, and both of us kept them 'cause we didn't want to lose anyone's trust." 12:36 GT: "But you kept yours, and, uh. You kind of fucked yourself over big time." 12:36 AA: "Yup." 12:36 GT: "So I'm not gonna make that mistake." 12:36 AA: "Although for the record, I never kept secrets because I was scared of losing everyone's trust, other than the Thiago thing." 12:37 GT: "Yeah, and all it took was one, didn't it?" 12:37 AA: "I kept secrets because I was scared of how much it would hurt people to know the truth, or because I thought they were better off not knowing." 12:37 AA: "Or because someone trusted me not to tell." 12:38 AA: "Or because my patrons prevented me from sharing." 12:38 AA: "And even the Thiago thing, it was never about wanting your trust for my own sake. It was about you guys needing a leader and losing me would mean you wouldn't have one." 12:38 GT: "Well, the last two I can understand, but the first two I can't. You're deciding for them! Never giving them a chance! Milly's fucking FURIOUS at you for keeping the Darmok thing from her!" 12:39 AA: "Yeah. I'm not surprised." 12:39 AA: "But I still think she would've been better off if she hadn't known it." 12:39 GT: "Because she doesn't see it as you doing it for her own good, she sees it as you thinking she's not strong enough to take it!" 12:39 GT: "And that hurts." 12:39 GT: "That hurts a lot." 12:40 AA: "Being strong enough to handle something doesn't mean you should *have* to handle something. That's my job. Or at least it was." 12:40 GT: "Yeah. It was. And if this is your outlook on stuff like this, maybe it's good it isn't anymore." 12:41 AA: "Yeah, I hope you're right. Because you guys won't let me shoulder these burdens for you anymore." 12:41 GT: "Because we didn't want you to in the first place!" 12:42 AA: "And yet none of you were willing to do it in my place." 12:42 AA: "So now you have no one shouldering it at all. And we're all going to die, except those Libby can save." 12:43 AA: "And I'm going to see it all coming and not be able to do anything to stop you." 12:43 GT: "We have ourselves. We have each other. We have TRUST." 12:44 GT: "And you lost that by 'shouldering our burdens'." 12:44 AA: "You don't have each other. You all do whatever the fuck you want with nothing even close to teamwork or direction. You run around like chickens with your heads cut off, then whine about not knowing anything." 12:44 AA: "That's not a team. That's not people who trust each other. It's a bunch of lunatics trying to get themselves killed." 12:44 AA: "And succeeding with flying colors." 12:44 GT: "We were doing JUST FUCKING FINE before you came along!" 12:44 AA: "No, you weren't." 12:45 AA: "And the fact that you can't see that is why we're going to die." 12:45 AA: "But I'm done fighting you. You've won, Lily. You get to get us all killed. I'm nothing anymore." 12:46 AA: "I'm not even the Oracle's Apprentice, thanks to Meouet. So at least I get to die with you all instead of having to just watch you all get yourselves killed and have to see all my friends die without me." 12:46 AA: "I guess I owe her for that." 12:46 GT: "FINE!" she screams. "STAY HERE, THEN. WATCH US DIE AND LAUGH AT OUR STUPIDITY. DON'T YOU FEEL GOOD HIGH ON YOUR THRONE OF SUPERIORITY." 12:46 GT: "YOU SMUG *BITCH*." 12:46 AA: "I'm not going to laugh, Lily. I find this all incredibly depressing." 12:46 AA: "I haven't been this depressed since Beau died." 12:47 AA: "But I don't know what you expect me to do." 12:47 GT: "Neither do I. I think anything you do at this point it just going to make things worse." 12:47 AA: "You've made it clear you don't want my guidance, you don't want me on the team, and you're pissed off when I retire from it all to." 12:48 AA: "So what is it you want? You want to kill me, Lily? You can give it a shot. I'm not going to just let you do it, but the Horrorterrors probably don't have my back anymore. So you might succeed." 12:49 GT: "No. If I kill you, then I'm on your level. Then you'll have the last laugh." 12:49 AA: "I'm not laughing Lily." 12:49 GT: "SHUT UP." 12:50 GT: "I'm going to give you exactly what you want so fucking bad and leave you here to ROT." 12:50 GT: "BECAUSE MAYBE THAT'S WHAT YOU DESERVE." 12:50 AA: "Okay, see you later." 12:50 AA: "Always nice when you come to visit Lily." 12:50 AA: Sami's voice is deadpan as she picks up a sketchbook and begins drawing. 12:51 GT: Lily smacks it out of her hands. "STOP IT." 12:51 AA: "Oh, am I not allowed to draw in my own room now, either?" 12:52 GT: "CARE, DAMN IT. *CARE*. GET MAD. WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GET MAD, OR SAD, OR *SOMETHING* INSTEAD OF THIS FUCKING - WHATEVER THIS IS! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS AND I HATE IT - I HATE *YOU*! I HATE YOU, SAMI HESTON!" 12:52 AA: "You think this is *dealing* with it, Lily?" 12:53 AA: "I've given up, Lily. That's not dealing with it. That's being beaten, and broken." 12:53 AA: "You think YOU hate me? You have no idea how much a person is capable of hating Sami Heston, Lily." 12:55 GT: "Fine, then." She takes out a small, ornate dagger. "You hate yourself so much? You're giving up? You want to die SO BAD?" She holds it out. "Do it." 12:55 AA: "No, I don't want to die." 12:55 AA: "At least not unless we find out it would save Darmok." 12:56 AA: "You guys won't let me save you from getting yourselves killed, but as long as I'm alive, you might let me save you from the outside threats still." 12:56 AA: "Besides, someone needs to be here to protect you from Maenam when she makes her move." 12:57 GT: "I thought you were retired," she spits. "Why even bother?" 12:57 GT: "Just let us die. It's what we're going to do eventually, right?" 12:57 AA: "Retired from leadership." 12:59 AA: "It doesn't stop me from loving you guys and wanting to do what I can, while I can." 12:59 AA: "I just know that saving you from yourselves, and giving you the direction you so desperately need, is not something I can do." 01:00 AA: "If it makes you feel any better, you'll probably survive. You and Acenia." 01:01 GT: "Great. Thanks." 01:01 AA: "Libby will probably solo the game in the end, and save you two." 01:01 AA: "And anyone else who happens to survive, survives." 01:01 AA: "I had hoped to keep that number as high as possible." 01:03 GT: "God, I can't LISTEN to this shit!" Lily pinches the bridge of her nose and captchalogues her dagger. "I'm leaving. Go ahead and write some angsty poetry in your fucking sketchbook." 01:03 AA: "Okay, see you later then." 01:03 AA: "Go listen to some fucking punk music and rage against 'the man.'" 01:04 AA: "I wonder who you're going to rebel against now that there *isn't* a leader for you to sass." 01:06 GT: "Well, I'd rebel against Miloko, but she's actually competent, so I might pass." 01:06 AA: "Yeah, I give it about a week before you start hating her too." 01:06 GT: "Already do," she says, smirking. 01:06 AA: "And plotting her downfall." 01:07 GT: "We'll see." 01:07 AA: "We don't have to. You've never had an authority figure who you haven't hated for setting boundaries for you, Lily." 01:07 AA: "You just really hate being told you can't do whatever you want whenever you want." 01:07 AA: "No one's going to keep your respect for long if they try to do that sort of thing to you." 01:08 AA: "Hell, we're lucky I'm not Meouet. I could probably make you do anything I want just by telling you not to do it." 01:09 GT: "Wow, haven't heard that before. You need to work on your insults, Sami." 01:09 AA: "It's not an insult. It's criticism." 01:09 AA: "You could choose to use it as a way to grow as a person. You're not going to though." 01:11 GT: "Feeling the love, yes sir." 01:12 AA: "I love that you think you're in a position to tell me I'm not being lovey-dovey enough after you've spent the last hour abusing me." 01:13 AA: "I don't even know why I'm bothering with the tough love thing though. I gave up on giving you people direction, so why am I sitting here trying to help you address your flaws?" She sighs. 01:14 GT: "I love how you don't realize that's EXACTLY WHAT I CAME IN HERE TO DO." 01:14 GT: "And then I remembered who I was dealing with." 01:16 AA: "Oh fuck you, Lily. You didn't come here to address your flaws. You came here to ease your conscience because you were keeping secrets." 01:16 AA: "And well after the point that the person you were telling them to could help with anything." 01:17 GT: "Keeping secrets IS one of my flaws! And I came here to make PEACE, or TRY to at least. But apparently you're so determined to be Pessimistic Polly you can't look up from your bucket of tears and runny mascara to see that." 01:18 AA: "*I'm* being a Pessimistic Polly?! God, sorry Lily if even *my* fucking Pollyanna spirit runs out of juice when she has to put up with someone who used to call herself your daughter is leading a goddamned revolution against you!" 01:19 AA: "When someone she's trusted for five years reveals she's been manipulating her and turning her into a weapon the entire time?" 01:19 AA: "When even the OTHER goddamned Pollyannas on the team stop believing in you!" 01:19 GT: "AND WHOSE FAULT IS THAT? IF YOU HADN'T GONE AND KILLED ONE OF OUR OWN, I NEVER WOULD HAVE EVEN CONSIDERED *FORMING* ONE!" 01:20 GT: "You don't even remember TALKING to Meouet about Thiago! How much responsibility can you REALLY shunt onto her?" 01:21 AA: "She's been changing who I am for the last five years, Lily. She probably manipulated me into my deals with the Horrorterrors. Didn't you read her letter? 'The Point When I Was At My Lowest?' That's after Beau's death, Lily." 01:21 AA: "I've been thinkign for years that I lost the old Sami. And now I find out it's because one of my friends has been intentionally turning me into someone else this whole time!" 01:21 AA: "But no. I do not think it's entirely her fault. I'm the one who fell for it, and whoever this bitch is that you're talking to right now, she must have been inside me even then." 01:22 AA: "But YOU" she pokes Lily in the chest "need to take so goddamned responsibility to. You told me you were going to give me a chance to keep the team together. Then immediately went behind my back and started pushing for insurrection." 01:22 GT: "No. I gave you a chance." 01:22 AA: "You didn't even give me a chance to hold you guys together before you started intentionally eroding any authority I ever had." 01:23 GT: "Then you killed Ryspor." 01:23 GT: "That was your chance." 01:23 AA: "Which I didn't, as we've already discussed ad nauseum. At least I'm pretty sure it wasn't me. But even if it was, he was trying to murder Doir and I was trying to subdue him." 01:24 AA: "And I attempted to use non-lethal methods. I tried to calm him down so we could get him to a sylph and he could deal with his problems safely." 01:24 AA: "He ran when I offered comfort, and if it *was* me and not Ghostsami that killed him? Then the only reason he died was because he overstrained himself in doing that." 01:25 AA: "And maybe it was my attempts to subdue him that put him in a position where running was enough to kill him. But I had to choose between attempting to subdue him and allowing him to kill Doir." 01:25 AA: "Doir who, by the way, had nothing to do with Thiago's death." 01:26 GT: "And your point here is?" 01:26 AA: "I regret Ryspor's death. I did not want things to go that way, and I feel terrible about it. But his death is NOT my fault." 01:26 AA: "It's his own." 01:28 GT: "I don't even know why you're mad at me! I jumped to what seemed like the logical conclusion, since, y'know, you'd killed before, and trying to DO something about instead of sit around and wail about how it's all fucking hopeless!" 01:28 GT: ((*tried)) 01:29 AA: "I explained the situation. Doir vouched for me. Hell, even Mary vouched for me and she had more reason to hate me than anyone!" 01:29 GT: "It never even got off the fucking ground! You made damn sure of that!" 01:30 GT: "There is no fucking way you can pin the team's loss of faith on me. You did it to yourself." 01:31 AA: "Lily, do you think I'm blind? Do you think I don't know how you egg people on every time they express a little bit of doubt in me?" 01:31 GT: "I just tell them what I think!" 01:31 AA: "They lost faith in me because of all this, but you made things worse." 01:31 GT: "What you've proven yourself to be!" 01:32 GT: "I try to WARN them." 01:32 AA: "And what's that, Lily? What the fuck have I proven myself to be? At worst I am someone who will do evil things to do what I think will protect all of you. You might hate me for my actions, but do you really think they need to be 'protected' from me?" 01:32 GT: "YES!" 01:32 AA: "I am the best goddamned friend you people have, and you have spat on everything I've tried to do for you." 01:34 AA: "Hell, you, personally, might not be alive right now if I hadn't helped you through those suicide attempts." 01:34 GT: "I've seen what you've done, and I've seen what you might do. I've seen what you are, what you might have been, and what you're going to become. I should have listened to Merrow when he said we couldn't trust you, but I didn't, and I paid the price." 01:35 AA: "Lily, I'm not going to pretend that I knew it would all end well when it happened, but it's not like Thiago is even gone anymore. And you knew that when you first cut ties with me, it sounds like!" 01:35 GT: "And what the hell are you even TALKING about? I've never gone to you for anything like that. It's always been Doir, or Erisio, or Thiago." 01:36 AA: "Doir told me about what happened. And what he had to do to try to get you to stop." 01:36 AA: "It's why I knew how important it was to talk to you afterward and help you deal with your feelings instead of just giving you someone to hate like he had." 01:36 GT: "And that magically means you helped?" 01:37 AA: "No, the counseling I did with you afterward does. And the counseling I did with Erisio to get him to talk things out with you." 01:39 AA: "But all that's irrelevant. I don't expect you to keep score on shit like that. I do it because I care about you kids, not to get points for it. I'm only pointing out that history will prove that I always have your best interests at heart, even when you don't agree with me on what your best interests are" 01:41 GT: "But you can't know! How can you know? You're not me! You don't know a thing about me except what little stuff you've learned since you got here." 01:41 GT: "How the hell can you make assumptions about my best interests when you've barely known me for a month?" 01:41 GT: "How can you do it for ANYONE?" 01:42 GT: "You can't! You can only guess! And guesses can be wrong! But you can't ADMIT that! So you just keep barrelling on, because you HAVE to be right." 01:42 GT: "You're SAMI MOTHERFUCKING HESTON. You ALWAYS know what's best for people. Everyone says so!" 01:43 AA: "And why the fuck does everyone say that, Lily?" 01:43 AA: "Is it maybe because I *do* tend to know what's best for people? You don't have to know people that long to know what they need. You just need empathy." 01:44 GT: "Because you're riddled with optimism and maternal instinct." 01:44 GT: "And that's IT." 01:44 GT: "You've gotten lucky. You're a good listener, and you use it to good effect. But you get cocky. And cockiness leads down bad roads." 01:45 AA: "'*I* get cocky' she says." Sami rolls her eyes. 01:45 GT: "Because where do you draw the line? You start doing things like fucking a monster because maybe he can change, or KILLING a teammate because he could pose a threat someday." 01:45 AA: "This from the girl who thought she could manipulate Jack, and the girl who bought urine from a dog because she was sure she knew better than everyone telling her it was a dumb move." 01:46 AA: "Wait, when did I fuck a monster? I've never fucked anyone but Beau, and he's been a sweetheart for at least as long as we've been together." 01:47 GT: "You and the Colonel aren't all that different, you know." 01:47 AA: "I've always turned down Cocytus's advances if you--Oh." 01:47 AA: "Yeah. I had that observation myself." 01:48 GT: "Yeah. You did. And maybe I should have listened, instead of trying to cheer you up." 01:48 AA: "But even *that* was because she loves people too much, Lily." 01:48 GT: "But if you asked her, do you think she'd tell you she was doing the right thing?" 01:48 GT: "I think she would have." 01:48 AA: "Say what you want about me and her, but we don't do this shit out of malice or spite or even because we don't care what will happen." 01:48 GT: "I'm not saying you do!" 01:49 GT: "You're clearly not listening to a word I'm fucking saying if you think that's the case!" 01:49 AA: "Well you were the one who thought it would somehow make me laugh if I 'brought you down to my level!'" 01:49 AA: "Or that I was taking joy in watching you guys crash and burn without my guidance." 01:50 GT: "You were sure as hell taking joy in telling me exactly how fucked we were without you." 01:50 GT: "Because, again, you alllllways know the right thing to do." 01:50 AA: "I have not felt an ounce of joy during this entire conversation." 01:50 GT: "My heart bleeds for you." 01:51 AA: "I'm not asking you to sympathize with me, Lily, I'm just saying if you think I was taking joy in this then your Mind powers haven't progressed much." 01:51 GT: "I'm sorry, I didn't realize I just casually read people's minds everywhere I go!" 01:53 AA: "Didn't I tell you before? You don't have to read people's minds to know how they think. I do it all the time. And I need to start doing it more." 01:54 GT: "Fuck this," Lily says suddenly. "Fuck this, what the hell am I still doing here, I'm just bumping my head into a god damn brick wall." 01:55 AA: "Lily. Seriously. Why *are* you still here. What is it you want from me?" 01:56 GT: "No. Shut up. I don't want to fucking talk to you anymore. I don't want to fucking SEE you anymore. Sit in your room. Fade out of existence. Or not. Do whatever the hell you want. I don't give a shit. You're fucking dead to me." 01:56 GT: She opens the door. "I'm gone." 01:56 GT: She walks away, slamming it behind her. 01:57 AA: "Lily, I'm serious. These things you've been saying to--" She sighs. 01:57 AA: Then she grits her teeth. "Fine. Then I'll make my own decisions, as usual." 01:57 AA: She opens her door, and goes off into the halls. Category:Sami Category:Lily